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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Si Sarge

Big J came home the other day asking her Papa and I what her Papa's rank is as she was asked by a friend.  We did not immediately answer her question as we were gauging how much she knew about her Papa's job and to see if our little experiment worked (more about that later).  We asked her what she answered and she said that she said that she does not know.  My husband and I were happy. You see, as much as possible, we limit our child's knowledge of her Papa's job for security reasons and so that, she will not get a super inflated head just because she is an officer's daughter (ODD).  My husband always said that RHIP (rank has its privilege) and he often sees this abused, get this, not by the officer himself but most often by the wives (who often think that they are a rank higher than their husband or they even have the rank) and their kids.  I experienced this first hand when Big J asked to play with some neighbor's kids and as we were living at an off-base housing at that time, I obliged.  She came back a few minutes later telling me that the kids did not want to play with her as she was just a lieutenant's kid and they were a colonel's.  If it weren't for the colonel's nice demeanor towards us every time we see him, those kids would have gotten an earful from me! From that on, it sort of became a standard for our family (the start of our experiment).  We are not going to discriminate between ranks! They are kids after all, for crying out loud!

Even before I met and married my husband, I had this idea that a military officer's family was a cut above the rest but this changed when I had a bestfriend who had a dad who headed the PSG (presidential security group) at that time.  Yes, they had a security escort when they went to school who also served as their driver; but, she was really simple and she still remains to this day.  From that time on, my idea of a military officer's family changed and I wanted my family to be like that.

Fast forward to the present.  Our family has lived on on-base housing,  off-base housing and our own home and I think that we liked having our own home the best.  Our try at on-base housing had its ups and downs.  It was nice to live in on-base housing as we couldn't ask for better security! Who could say that they had guards who had armalites and grenade launchers and even tanks?! for security?  Not to mention that we only had to pay for a measly sum for the rent and the utilities and we had access to the camp's facilities like the commissary (where groceries are tax-free), the pools, the tennis courts, badminton courts, etc and being treated like royalty. Okay, not so much as royalty but being a superior where soldiers upon knowing that you are an officer's wife (ODW)  would immediately call you "Ma'am" and give deference and be extra helpful (carrying groceries and stuff).  Well, life on an on-base facility was not a bed of roses at all times.  Whenever, the camp had a security drill, you were included in it.  The camp was locked down (meaning, no one can go in or out) and you had soldiers in every part of the camp with "BIG" guns and in full battle gear. Not to mention that only one gate will be open upon 9 p.m. and the camp was covered in darkness. Then, there were the other officer's wives who were always nosing about goods and stuff and comparing them to what they had especially when your husband was a rank lower than theirs.  Well, not all ODW were bad and nosy.  There were also simple and good women.  There was even a time when a general's wife came to our tambayan and chatted with us and told us not to be uncomfortable as she is, like us, just a soldier's wife and all these privileges will all soon come to pass upon your husband's retirement at age 56.  Life in an off-base housing facility was just like on-base housing but less the security.  We liked having our own home the best because we remained pretty anonymous and no one was that obvious in nosing. ( I guess nosy neighbors are always part of a village's cast of characters. Hehe!)  Sure, they know that we are a military family but that is just how much information we dare to reveal and my husband was always careful not to go to or arrive from work in full military uniform lest someone gets nosy about his rank and jeopardize not only his security but ours as well. (Well, I know how to pretty much handle a gun if ever that happens. Hehe.) Funny moments came when a neighbor asked us, "San ba assigned si Sarge ngayon." (Where is Sarge assigned these days?)  I tried very hard not to burst out laughing upon hearing the rank they gave my husband; but, we take it all in stride.  My husband was even laughing when he said, "Naman, dinemote naman nila ako ng sobra-sobra!" (They demoted me so many ranks lower.)  Plus, it keeps us level-headed.  We try not to take my husband's rank get into our heads and our daughter's head.  Yes, RHIP but as it is a privilege, it is something that should not be wasted or abused and if being called Sarge and family is the price we have to pay for living in a civilian community, we would take it any other day.
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Friday, January 14, 2011

Resolutions for Moms

As the new year starts, a lot of resolutions are made; about health, finances, but mostly changes for one's betterment.  I was looking through my bookmarks and I saw that I bookmarked this article from www.parents.com and it was appropriate for me as a mom and the new year.  Here they are:

1. I will embrace the fact that I am not perfect.
As moms, we usually try to do so many things at once just to prove that we can do it and here's the thing, we shouldn't be and no person is.  What our kids need from us is to be happy. I once read that a happy mom equals a happy home; so, try to be happy and see things in a positive light even if your kid and your baby are trying to get your attention at the same time.

2.I will get down on the floor and play with my child everyday.
So many things, so little time is what I hear most often from my mom-friends that they forget to give time to their children.  I guess I am lucky in that I work from home.  Mornings are spent playing with the baby and I can see that she is a happy baby.  You should see her when she wakes up.  She always has a smile ready to greet you that could brighten the room.

3. I will take care of my body.
I once said to my husband, "I take care of everybody, who takes care of me?" And you know what he said, "Yourself."  At first I was offended by this and felt like hitting him when he explained that since I was taking such good care of everyone, why don't I do the same caring for myself.  Smart man; although I am loathe to admit it. :)  It does make sense.  So, even if it is forced, I will devote at least 30 minutes of walking (around the neighborhood, at least) and eat sensibly (breakfast calling!).

4.I will learn to love the chaos.
If you're like me who is OC (obsessive-compulsive), then kids and their clutter are a constant headache.  My husband and I have since given up the fact that while the kids are still kids, there would not be any order in the house.  Well, for a few minutes maybe.

5.I will make the family dinner a priority.
My older daughter and I have been having our chats during breakfast and I see that it works wonders for her mood.  This resolution makes sense since it is the only time in the day that all the family members are present.  I remember Lucky Me advocating having dinner together.  And here's more, research has shown that kids who regularly have dinner with their parents are more likely to do well in school and stay out of trouble.

6.I will focus a little more on my marriage.
With all the things that we have to fit in a day, we forget that we are not alone and oftentimes, neglect our partners.  As my husband and I have been doing ever since we could leave the kids alone for a few minutes after dinner is to walk around the block.  This is the time where we can talk about our day and our plans for the future.  If this is not possible, we take the few minutes after our older daughter goes to school and the time before the baby wakes up, talking about the future over a cup of coffee.
 
7.I will make time for my friends.
You don't have to spend the whole afternoon with them--a phone call and in these modern times, an email or a chat would do.  Having friends help you blow off some steam and friendships take care of our emotional growth as well.

8. I will remind myself daily that time with my child is precious.
This is the whole essence of my being a work from home mom, childhood is fleeting.  The other day, I was commenting to my husband that I cannot believe that our older daughter is already a big kid and that grade one is about to be finished and in a few years time, we would be having a teenager. The same goes for our baby.  In a few days, our baby would no longer be a baby but a toddler as she will be one year old already.  I just could not resist to quote the online article as it aptly summarizes this resolution:
Motherhood never ends -- but childhood does. You have a baby, you blink, and suddenly there's a three-year-old standing in front of you announcing, "I'm big now." The magic years are unbelievably brief, and every day that little girl or boy is changing and growing, edging a little closer toward the door. Remember that the essence of parenting isn't in the milestones, but in the everyday moments. So stop, pay attention, and make sure you celebrate them every chance you get.
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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Domestic Procrastination

The house is a mess:  Dishes to be washed, floors to be swept and mopped, laundry to be folded and sorted.  Well, you get the idea; but at least, the baby is fed, bathed, and content.  It's not always like this at home lest you get the idea that this is what greets you upon entering.  I get like this most often during the middle of the week when I feel that I have done enough for the week and there is more that should be done and accomplished. Sort of my breathing space so that I won't lose my sanity.  My own "ME" time which I don't get to have when the house is full and there is cooking to be done.  So, in these few precious hours (more like minutes) of escape, what do I do? Daydream.  Dream that I have servants at my beck and call and no one to disturb my peace.  A place I can sleep all day and eat whenever I want to.  More like Cinderella after the happily every after.  Well, so much for the peaceful respite as the baby is calling my attention.  She is my boss for the moment after all.  And this is where I transform back to Cinderella before the fairy tale...and dishes beckon!


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Monday, January 10, 2011

Mornings

Image from http://friends18.com


For most, the new year and its changes start on January 1; but in our family, it starts when my husband, J, gets his new military assignment.  After an extended two-month break, he finally gets to know where he is assigned.  With the new assignment somewhere in the North, he can only go home on the weekends and with that, my girls and I are the ones left at home most days.  Today, Monday, heralded the start of this change. It was a wonderful time at breakfast to reconnect with my older girl.  We spent breakfast eating together and just chatting about the coming week ahead.  It did wonders for her mood! You see, older girl is not a morning person and today, knowing that I had time only for her, she was enjoying the morning and gamely ate her breakfast and finished her glass of milk.  She even initiated our chore list (we are a helper-less family) and their corresponding rewards. I do not eat breakfast and if I do, it would be a hurried one so in the past, I do not get to spend breakfast with her and as part of the change, I will take a cue from older girl and start eating breakfast. After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. What better way to start the day than by making plans and just talking.  I know that these moments are precious and few that's why I will start to spend my mornings this way.  Way better than coffee in the morning, in my opinion!

With this fresh start, I am renewed in my commitment to be the best that I can be not only for myself but for my family as well. Here's to what the week ahead has to offer and the challenges it brings!

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Friday, January 7, 2011

Spread The Love!

Happy New Year!

Life is good, so why not enjoy it and what better way to start the new year than to be hopeful or to be more precise, optimistic about it. To start off, here are 10 Thoughts on Optimism from www.wholeliving.com

1. Happiness doesn't just happen, it emerges.
2. Let yourself make mistakes. Happiness is not found in perfection.
3. Treat happiness as a method, not an end in itself.
4. Misery may be contagious -- but so is joy.
5. Take pleasure in others' happiness, as it will augment your own.
6. Optimism isn't just a shift in perspective. It's an act of bravery.
7. Don't believe what you hear. Life is good.
8. Keep revisiting your connection to spirit. Let it evolve as you grow.
9. Respond to life with openness and curiosity.
10. Don't wait for your mood to change; take action despite it.

I certainly felt optimistic just by reading these thoughts and I hope that you were infected by it also. If so, spread the love! Don't you just want to take life by it's horns and take over? After all, life is a series of ups and downs, twists and turns. Hopefully, the new year will be brighter for all of us. Here's to a blessed life and love from my family to yours in 2011.

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